So I ran the Helsinki Marathon last weekend…

I booked the event a few months ago with the idea of trying to attain a Boston Qualifying Time (BQT) in my age group (sub 3:10).

I told only a few friends that I was going, to try and remove as much pressure off my shoulders as possible. I realise this may sound a little strange when really the pressure I put on myself in terms of running is far greater than anyone else could place on me. 

But I wanted a race where I didn’t feel the need to document all my preparations for it.

So a 3:09 was the aim and whilst that may ultimately also not be good enough to get me into next year’s Boston, I wanted to be able to say I have run a BQT.

It was always a reach to try and take off 17 minutes off my Berlin time of 3:26:40 last year but I believe I’m capable of doing it… the question was, ‘am I capable of doing it, yet?’

As we got nearer to Helsinki I started to doubt myself. The long runs hadn’t gone as well as I had hoped and a cold during the last week of my taper left me concerned.

As I stood on the start line, thankfully feeling a lot fresher than I had 48 hours before, I just told myself to run at a steady effort to see where it takes me. I also reminded myself this was supposed to be the marathon without any pressure.

As we set off on the harbour I waved goodbye to the sub three-hour pacer and briefly hoped that one day that could be a realistic target.

I allowed myself to check my watch after the first kilometre and after clocking a 4:30-minute kilometre I ignored my pacing for the remainder of the race.

It certainly didn’t feel easy for the opening miles, but then it didn’t feel really difficult either. There were a few little hills and some tight turns to negotiate, but after about 10km I felt in a nice rhythm.

The 3:15 pacer was behind me and the 3:10 one was within sight.

I was trying to relax as much as possible and had actually even written it on my forearm. I found this particularly useful when running up each incline to remind myself to stay composed.

The marathon took the same course as the half marathon and as they finished, and the marathon runners went through halfway, I felt pretty strong and started to believe that I could be on for a big PB.

We then embarked on another loop to take us to 20 miles, which again passed through where all races finished. I knew this would present a bit of a mental battle but I was ready for it.

‘We just start again.’

This was crunch time and whilst I felt like I was slowing a little, I still felt relatively strong. 

Then mile 23 happened.

I’ve heard Neil Featherby describe the wall as being like ‘someone has turned the lights out’.

Well, my lights weren’t out, but they were flickering as I began to feel dizzy and had a strange sense of pins and needles through my arms and legs. 

I was dehydrated and needed to get to the next drinks station as quickly and safely as possible. 

I had to walk for a few minutes.

I looked at my forearm: ‘RELAX’.

I tried to quieten the internal voice giving me a hard time for not taking on enough fluids.

I just had to get to the next drink station. As soon as I did, I downed three cups of water and let it settle for a minute.

I did some rough calculations and realised that if I could get myself together then I could still salvage a PB.

It took everything I had to start running again but once I was going it felt a little easier.

I started to pass other runners, which gave me a little boost each time. 

This was going to be close, but I tried to feed off some of the energy around the finish and the buzz of the crowd.

When I saw the finish I tried to quicken the pace and I knew a PB was all but in the bag.

I crossed the finish line in 3:25:41 - a 59-second PB. 

It wasn’t what I wanted, but I felt proud of myself to a certain extent that I hadn’t completely detonated. 

This wasn’t another Brighton experience. 

I made a mistake with my hydration and if I’m being honest then I just wasn’t quite in sub 3:10 shape.

But I will be one day and all these experiences will make it that much sweeter when I do start breaking those barriers.

On to Berlin.