A self-confessed introvert who said he was ‘unable to find happiness’ was found at a Norfolk beauty spot a day after going missing.
The body of Rafal Milewski, known as ‘Raf’, was discovered hanging by dog walkers on the morning of December 1 last year at Holt Country Park.
The 29-year-old, who lived in the town on Coronation Road, had been reported missing the day before after leaving ‘concerning notes’ with a friend.
An inquest into his death took place at Norfolk Coroner’s Court this month.
The court, at County Hall in Norwich, heard how Mr Milewski had moved to the UK from Poland permanently in 2018. He had previously been a student in the region in 2014.
He lived with his sister, Julia Musial, and her family and worked as a housekeeper and waiter at the King’s Head Pub in Holt, which is owned by his brother-in-law, Orest Musial.
On November 28, a co-worker said he had “not been himself” before he handed over a black box he described as a Christmas present.
When he failed to turn up to work the following day, she opened the box which contained cash, letters in gold envelopes sealed with wax, a credit card, mobile phone and three Polish coins.
The letters revealed that he felt sad and unloved. He also expressed social anxiety about feeling as if he did not fit in.
The court heard evidence from Mr Milewski’s GP who confirmed that he had been prescribed medication to help with anxiety and depression.
He had also engaged with the Wellbeing service, but an investigation by the Norfolk and Suffolk Foundation Trust (NSFT) found that there had been three missed opportunities to review risks.
The area coroner, Yvonne Blake, summed up the report and said: “They concluded that when he completed his Wellbeing workshop, the member of staff who supported him seemed to concentrate on what Rafal said he wanted to achieve, as opposed to what was actually wrong with him.
“NSFT think he was displaying social anxiety and the specific treatment for that was CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) which is one-to-one working. They said he should have had that as opposed to workshops.
“The person who saw him, who doesn’t work for them anymore, didn’t really show much professional curiosity around how he presented. Further investigations should have been used.”
Before recording a conclusion of suicide, she went on to say: “Rafal seems to have suffered from low mood and a low opinion of himself for quite some time, even though he was described as a lovely person and a gentle soul.
"He did seem to be anxious about things and didn't feel he was very good in social situations, which caused him great anxiety. He said he was lonely.
“He went to see the doctor and they saw him three times, put him on medication, and he was monitored for that.
“Nothing major appears to have happened to cause such a major event.”
In a statement to the court, Mrs Musial, who is also a Polish native, said: “Rafal was a gentle soul who was very quiet and shy but also very smart.
“He was an introvert. He would read alone in his bedroom or the garden. He loved animals more than humans. And he chose not to have friends but kept himself to himself.
“[In the house] he would engage with all of us but when finished he would take himself off to be alone.
“He was an emotional person but only in private or with me. He did not show his emotions easily.”
She added that she knew he was always depressed “in a small way” and had constantly strived to “improve himself all the time”.
“He didn’t need to,” she said.
“He seemed to be going in the right direction.
“In fact, leading up to the time he went missing he seemed very normal. He did not seem anything different to normal”
- Do you need support? The NHS First Response service can be reached by dialling 111 and selecting option 2. Alternatively, contact Samaritans on 116 123. Both services can be reached 24/7.
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